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Description
This is long overdue, and I think this description is going to take longer than it took to make this.
Dear Chili-Doge, Twisted269, shadewolf34, and Avistress,
I'm so terribly sorry for all the things I've done to you. I'm so sorry that I hurt you and I know I yell and I scream at you guys and it's wrong of me to do that. It's so wrong of me to do everything. I'm sorry for being a whiny bitch all the time and I'm sorry for being so depressed. I count on you guys most of the time and I need to learn to fend for myself. Sometimes I feel ignored and sometimes I feel like you guys don't even care. Something inside of me makes me believe you want to leave me behind. Just make a new group and leave me behind and make sure you never have to deal with my annoying shit ever again. I tell myself you won't, because I know I'll break down if I don't. Everytime I go to sleep I think of you guys. I think about if you're okay, I think about if you're mad at me, I think about if Kare maybe got some more followers on tumblr, I think about maybe Cookie has hit a watcher goal on dA, I think about if maybe Seth has beaten a record on Nazi Zombies, and even if Thomas has gotten some more weed to satisfy himself with. It really hurts to say all of this since you guys have no idea what I do to myself to make sure I keep you guys happy and in order. I want to be there for all of you, I want to be there to see you guys smile. I want to hold you and tell you everything is alright every single second of the day. But I can't. I can't. This internet machine is in the way, and I swear most of the time I want to just push it off a cliff and teleport??? I should have been more respectful and sympathetic to you guys. It's just so hard to with everything going on. It's like there's 6 - 8 different problems whenever 1 starts and it's so hard to keep track. I break down and I cry and I want you guys to help me up, but it's very rarely for that to even happen. I'm not asking for your full attention. I'm not asking for you to make me things to keep me happy. I just want a hug every now and then, and I just want to be told it's alright. That's all I want. That's all I want you guys to say. I'm so sorry for all the trouble I've caused. I just can't stop saying sorry because that's what this is. An apology. This is all an apology for all the stupid shit I've done to you all in hopes that you'll forgive me and not stay mad at me or leave me behind. Please listen to these words and listen well, because everything I said was the truth. I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm terribly sorry.
~ Me
Dear Chili-Doge, Twisted269, shadewolf34, and Avistress,
I'm so terribly sorry for all the things I've done to you. I'm so sorry that I hurt you and I know I yell and I scream at you guys and it's wrong of me to do that. It's so wrong of me to do everything. I'm sorry for being a whiny bitch all the time and I'm sorry for being so depressed. I count on you guys most of the time and I need to learn to fend for myself. Sometimes I feel ignored and sometimes I feel like you guys don't even care. Something inside of me makes me believe you want to leave me behind. Just make a new group and leave me behind and make sure you never have to deal with my annoying shit ever again. I tell myself you won't, because I know I'll break down if I don't. Everytime I go to sleep I think of you guys. I think about if you're okay, I think about if you're mad at me, I think about if Kare maybe got some more followers on tumblr, I think about maybe Cookie has hit a watcher goal on dA, I think about if maybe Seth has beaten a record on Nazi Zombies, and even if Thomas has gotten some more weed to satisfy himself with. It really hurts to say all of this since you guys have no idea what I do to myself to make sure I keep you guys happy and in order. I want to be there for all of you, I want to be there to see you guys smile. I want to hold you and tell you everything is alright every single second of the day. But I can't. I can't. This internet machine is in the way, and I swear most of the time I want to just push it off a cliff and teleport??? I should have been more respectful and sympathetic to you guys. It's just so hard to with everything going on. It's like there's 6 - 8 different problems whenever 1 starts and it's so hard to keep track. I break down and I cry and I want you guys to help me up, but it's very rarely for that to even happen. I'm not asking for your full attention. I'm not asking for you to make me things to keep me happy. I just want a hug every now and then, and I just want to be told it's alright. That's all I want. That's all I want you guys to say. I'm so sorry for all the trouble I've caused. I just can't stop saying sorry because that's what this is. An apology. This is all an apology for all the stupid shit I've done to you all in hopes that you'll forgive me and not stay mad at me or leave me behind. Please listen to these words and listen well, because everything I said was the truth. I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm terribly sorry.
~ Me
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Comments3
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Then you should ask us.
When you want support or a hug or to be told it's alright I am so more than willing to tell you so, sweetie, I care about you and I always will. You have to tell us so. Directly. Ask for a hug or some kind words and I think all of us would be happy to make you happy. We like it when you're happy, Jade.
I've been more than willing to give you my full attention for four years. I just don't know when. I don't know when it'll make you happy or if it'll make you feel worse. I don't know if I'll be able to make you happy or make no difference. I know I probably can't imagine the kind of things you go through, but I'm willing to try and hopefully make you feel better. You're my family, of course I want you to feel better.
I've been more than willing to give you my full attention for four years. I just don't know when. I don't know when it'll make you happy or if it'll make you feel worse. I don't know if I'll be able to make you happy or make no difference. I know I probably can't imagine the kind of things you go through, but I'm willing to try and hopefully make you feel better. You're my family, of course I want you to feel better.
Look, I don't care wether or not you hurt me. Sometimes people hurt each other unintentionally, and I know I do it to you. It happens sometimes and that's okay.
You are honestly a blessing to me, you really are. I don't know how I ended up with someone as gr10 as you. And I would never think about leaving you. Not now, not ever.